My life with Lewy, from the inside out

Those of you following my journey on www. myvinylcountdown.com have learned more than needed or ever wanted about 1970s -80s rock music and a relatively anonymous disease that kills you.

Amid the obscure and the famous, amid the 7 stages of Lewy body, amid the stories of basketball and the Beatles, I wanted to write more about where I am today, now.

Whew! That makes me breathe deeply just typing it.

This has been a hard column to write.

[See AL.com version here]

I started it as a journalism story. So, by God, as a relatively healthy 50-something, I was going to research Lewy body and fight it. I learned some key facts: On average you have 4 to 8 years of living after diagnosis. Lot of variables in that calculation so i use it as a guideline –nothing to make plans around. I learned that even though Lewy affected 1.4 million people in the United States, no one much knew about it, even doctors.

I was diagnosed with Parkinson’s in July 2016 and then with Lewy in November of that year. It’s anonymity I think is fair to say hinders a proportionate amount of federal dollars to research it.

I learned that it seems the same kind of protein messing up brains of Lewy body patients were the same messing up those with Parkinson’s DIsease. Symptoms overlapped. Alzheimer’s, on the other hand, plagues the brian with a different kind of plaque. Alzheimer’s does however have some similar symptoms: memory and cognition failure. And evidence of AZ is often found in patients with LPD.

I will say, though I’ve read and heard anecdotally that LBD doesn’t usually have the ‘whiteout’ tendency of Azheimer’s regarding memory. LBD come with days that seem normal only to go dark again. Again my observations and readings suggest LBD patients can be a bit more argumentative and aggressive than Alzheimer’s. Some memory care centers won’t take Lewy patients because of these issues.

There is some good work in the trenches out there. UAB is doing some of it. But the research of Lewy body dementia nationwide is in its infancy, I believe.

I didn’t want a write a big old dissertation about that.

I also hope it doesn’t sound like I’m on my last lap. This is not meant to be a bye-bye column .

It’s not a column about naming names, pondering the future of journalism, or Mike’s best of music reviews and Lewy posts.

I don’t want to die anytime soon, but we know not the hour. And I do want to keep telling you what I know. Something is happening, for sure with me. From the inside out.

The difference between now and, say, two years ago, is an accumulation of small things, subtle things. Remembering where I set something down sets me off on a 20-minute search. Trying to remember which button or combination of buttons to push leaves me staring at my computer — or the wall — for a zombie moment. A momentary loss of balance. Or, falling.

Standing up quickly can lead to dizziness, shakiness and losing consciousness. I feel down the stairs the other day after passing out. Luckily it was a four or five stair roll leaving me with a relatively moderate gash on my knee.

The condition is caused by low blood pressure. When we sit, our blood pools to the butt and thighs. Normally when we stand up that blood pressure has beat us to the brain and is lathering it in blood for oxygen.

It’s the real deal. Because falling is one of the biggest LBD -related cause of deaths. Choking is another, as your autonomic system is under attack.

Your autonomic system is like a perpetual cruise control allowing you to breathe, pump blood, even salivate ‘automatically.’

I’ve written a lot of columns and spoken to a lot of groups about Living with Lewy.

The reaction I get is many have never heard of the disease, which attacks the brain bit by bit. Like an appetizer for Hannibal Lector.

Most haven’ heard of it. This despite it being the second largest type of progressive dementia after Alzheimer’s Disease.

My pain is classic angst. Will my (children) be OK? How will my truly beloved wife be able to live without me? Will she know what the ebay password is?

I ‘m now having doubts about finishing this project –myvinylcountdown.com. Four years and I still have more than a hundred album reviews yet to finish it.

I realize how dumb and strange this blog must look sometimes writing a post about Stephen Hawking’s view of the afterlife followed by a review of Bobby Sherman singing Julie Julie Julie do ya love me.

But there has been signficant change. It was actually likely a series of micro changes as a couple billion brain cells do battle with unwanted alpha-synuclein proteins.

Spoiler alert: The proteins win.

But as I said. Changes accumulated. My memory worsened, although thank God I’m still, for the most part remembering most of those with a role in my life.

I had some episodes where I’d break from reality. Nothing serious (sometimes reality is overrated). I usually could locate the logical rational piece of my brain and somehow steer it back to clear water. I developed a healthy case of Orthostatic hypotension, a form of low blood pressure.

I’ve learned tostand very closely and wait for a wave dizziness or near unconsciousness. blow by.

See, I was going to give many tips like this. But the brain cells that held them got eaten. By bye list.

So back to the bigger noticeable change. Different patients have different experiences. Our endings will be different. I pray for a peaceful death for those with the disease. For me? I’m bargaining for time. I’m bargaining for time so I may be with family members and friends longer. I’ve been rewinding my life for the past few years, remembering wild and crazy times with wild and crazy people and laughter and the roar of the ocean and sitting around campfires. And being scared sometimes; and worrying too much; and hurting people. I said I’m not going to make this a regrets column.

We’ve been beating ourselves up for those for too long anyway.

Couple of years ago I wrote a column called “Rub your dog between the ears while you still can.”

Gus, the family’s 14-year-old mixed poodle, is sitting right here as I write.

I’m rubbing his ears. And rubbing my eyes.

Oliver is a columnist from AL.com who writes often about Lewy body dementia. He also loves vinyl records and uses his blog to list them and write about them. He has finished more than 500 platters (haven’t used that word for records in a while.) He is racing against time to finish those before he dies. Stay tuned.

Daily journal, May 22, 2020, (archives, Orlando Sentinel version).

Since graduating in journalism from Auburn University in 1982, I have left a trail of news stories and features along the way. Sometimes these articles are saved in the archives so I can go back and look at my work. Sometime there are big gaps in data to be found online. Of the thousands of stories I’ve written over the years, maybe 15 to 20 percent are retrievable online. Googling around the other day looking for a name and contact of someone who had been a source of mine long ago on a case involving drug smuggling I found this totally unrelated feature, a story I thought had been lost forever. It involved three brothers and a close friend, killing themselves by suicide, one-by-one. I had searched for this story years ago and couldn’t find it so I figured it was forever gone lost in an ocean of electronic digitrash. So I was happy to know it still exists and I’m going to post it below to better its chances of staying in existence. Look for this to become an occasional feature. (Can’t wait to see what hat Columbus City Council meeting story — the one I dictated petrified with fear on my first real newspaper assignment. On deadline translating notes through cerebellum into something readable. In a phone booth with seasoned pro at the other end cracking jokes and talking me out of my shakes. Them’s how you learn the ropes.

Here’s a thumbnail of my career:

  • 1980-1982 Auburn University. Besides a few, very few, stories I wrote for the school’s Plainsman, I also did a few pieces for the Opelika-Auburn News and the Columbus (Ga.) Enquirer.
  • 1982-1987 — The Birmingham News.
  • 1987-2001 — The Orlando Sentinel (where the below story was published).
  • 2001–2011 — Oakland (Calif.) Tribune, Contra Costa Times, San Jose Mercury New (Bay Area News Group,)
  • 2011 to present–The Birmingham New/AL.com.

https://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/os-xpm-1989-03-19-8903190238-story.html

‘Brotherly love becomes deadly bond

Bobby Junior Stone stood silently at the graves of his two younger brothers, Robert and Richard. A light growth of grass covered Richard’s grave, but over Robert’s coffin the sandy brown dirt was newly turned.

His mother, JoAnn Cord, snapped a photograph from 20 yards away.

It was late March 1988 and the sun was shining in Dade City. The ride to the cemetery from Leesburg had been uncomfortably quiet, as if all the words had been used up.

Richard Stone, the younger of Bobby Junior’s brothers, had killed himself in 1986 at age 21. Then Richard’s best friend, 19-year-old Jamie Fell, had committed suicide in 1987, two days before the first anniversary of Richard’s death. And now his other brother, Robert, had done it at 24.

Bobby Junior stood quietly at the graves, but the 28-year-old man was simmering with emotion. Before Robert’s funeral he sat on his sister’s bed and sobbed. “I won’t ever have to go through this again,” he said, “because I don’t have any brothers left.”

Patty Bowen couldn’t bring herself to go to the cemetery that day with her brother and mother. Now she looks at the photograph of Bobby Junior standing at the graves of Richard and Robert and can’t help wondering.

“I wonder what was going on inside his head,” she said. “I wonder if he knew then that they would soon be digging his grave right next to his brothers.”

Two months later they buried Bobby Junior. Like Richard, Jamie and Robert before him, Bobby Junior died by his own hand.

The four suicides in two years cast a ghostly pallor on bright memories of the young men. Survivors grope for answers and struggle against a flood of feelings from guilt to anger to empty sadness.

The reasons for the suicides are complex – broken homes, societal pressures, stormy love relationships and alcohol abuse. On the surface mounting personal problems seemed to take their toll on each of the young men. But beyond the problems was a bond so intense that they chose death rather than being apart.

Say what you will about the Stone brothers – they were wild, they were pool-hall tough – friends and family knew them to be unusually close. When Richard got leave from the Army for the first time, Robert sprinted across a crowded lobby in the nursing home where he worked to embrace his younger brother, a memory that still gives Bowen goosebumps.

It was as if each was tied to the same rope. And when Richard killed himself, Jamie Fell followed, then Robert, then Bobby Junior. The sinking weight of depression tugged harder with each death.

Beginnings . . .

The Stone family moved to Leesburg from Dade City in 1973. They lived in a small home on Colonial Street – the parents, Bobby and JoAnn, and the children, Bobby Junior, 13; Patty, 12; Robert, 9; Richard, 7; and Latonya, 6.

The parents worked at Golden Gem and later Minute Maid citrus-processing plants.

Bobby Junior was the quiet leader. Robert was the wild tough one who’d do anything if dared. And Richard, with the impish grin, was the even tougher youngest brother who tried to do everything Robert did.

In a house full of rough boys, Patty and Latonya had to learn to fend for themselves. The boys dubbed Latonya “Tonya Tornado” for the way she fought, with legs kicking and arms flailing.

The boys played tackle football on a field off their street.

“We called ourselves the Colonial Street Boys,” friend David Chastain said. “We used to laugh and say you didn’t mess with the Colonial Street Boys.”

It was a tough blue-collar neighborhood on the western edge of Leesburg. “I’d say about 80 percent of our neighborhood never finished high school,” Chastain said.

The neighborhood remains much the same. Mobile homes sit side by side with concrete-block and frame houses on the oak-lined street. Nearby woods, where Robert once rode his dirt bike, provide stomping grounds for a new generation of Colonial Street Boys.

In sandlot football games, Bobby Junior always was the quarterback. Richard and Robert would go out for passes. Bobby Junior demanded perfection in the patterns they ran, or he’d chew out his brothers.

The Stones always played on the same team and had a reputation for being fiercely loyal to one another. Opposing players didn’t mess with one without messing with the others. If a baseball coach hollered at Robert, the coach might have seen Richard stomping off the field with Robert.

Charlie Baker coached Richard and Robert in Little League and other youth baseball leagues from 1974 to 1978. He remembers the Stones as temperamental, athletic, and eminently likable. In four years they made All Stars every year but one and helped turn around a 1-17 team to 18-0 in two years.

“It was the first time a Little League team had gone undefeated in Leesburg, I’m pretty sure,” Baker said. “The Stone parents worked a lot, and Robert and Richard would call me on Saturday and ask if I’d pick them up to go out and pitch and hit. We got close.”

Robert and Richard were inseparable. “If you saw one you knew the other one was around somewhere,” Baker said. Bobby Junior was older, so he didn’t play on the same team with his brothers. But he was a standout on the Leesburg High School baseball team.

“You see a lot of kids who would rather buddy with someone other than their brother, but not the Stones,” Chastain said. “They looked out for each other, and that’s what I liked about them. I was an only kid, and they seemed like brothers to me.”

As children the Stones traveled the country with their parents, who worked as migrant farm laborers before settling in Florida. During those years the brothers and sisters attended many different schools from Arkansas to Michigan to Florida.

It was during that rootless childhood that the Stones found the solid rock of stability in one another, family members say. Their parents’ divorce when the siblings were in their teens sealed the bond.

“I don’t think Robert and Richard could have been closer if they were twins,” their mother said.

It was a closeness, a tightness, that extended to a few select friends such as Chastain and Jamie Fell. It was a bond so intense that its force was felt even from the grave.

“If I was to grow up again, I would pick the same friends because they were the best friends I ever had,” Chastain said. “They were always there for me, and I was always there for them.”

The future seemed so bright.

“They were happy and very close,” the Stones’ mother, JoAnn Cord, remembered. “One thing, though: Robert used to wake up nearly every night until the time he was 10 years old with nightmares. I’d go in there and he’d be staring off into the wall, crying.

“I know this sounds strange,” she said, “but I think back and wonder if he somehow knew what was in his future.”

Richard …

Richard Stone was a skinny teen-ager when he joined the Army at 17.

“Mama, I’m going to make you proud,” her youngest son said. “I’m going to make sergeant.”

His mother told him, “Richard, I’m already proud of you.”

Richard adored his mother. While a soldier he had “Mom” tattooed in small letters over a red heart on his chest.

Marla Scalf, who dated Richard, remembers one night in a bar when Robert and another patron exchanged words. “He said something about Robert’s mama. Well, Richard got up right behind the guy and said, ‘That’s my mama your talking abouttoo.’ “

As a specialist four in the 403rd Transportation Co. at Fort Bragg, N.C., Richard drove a truck. The Army said nothing but good things about him after his death.

Capt. Nicholas J. Anderson, Richard’s commander, wrote his mother: “He was part of our family here in the unit. He was a positive, refreshing, selfless person who would immediately win the respect and admiration of anyone he came in contact with.”

Family, friends and military reports recall that Stone was happy as a soldier. They saw the skinny teen transform into a 6-foot-1-inch, 194-pound man. The little boy who once locked himself in a closet and cried because he thought that his front teeth were too big suddenly had lots of girlfriends.

“I finally grew into my teeth,” he told Latonya one night before a date.

But investigators believe that an incident shortly before his death troubled him. While on leave Richard was arrested in Daytona Beach on a charge of indecent exposure. He was changing out of his military garb into shorts in the back of a pickup truck as it sped down the highway.

A police car happened by and pulled the truck over with the undressed Richard in the back. Richard laughed off the incident at the time.

“Me and Jamie and Robert went to pick him up from jail,” said Scalf, 20. “He was just laughing about it.”

The Army report on the suicide showed that he faced a potential demotion for the incident.

Army psychiatrist Harold Tarpley wrote: “To the possible demotion the soldier reportedly stated, ‘I can’t handle being a private again.’ “

On the morning of June 30, 1986, about 11 hours after he was supposed to have reported back to Fort Bragg, Richard called another girlfriend, Leigh Cooper. He told her goodbye and that he wasn’t going back to Fort Bragg. He wrote a note on a memo board hanging on the wall in Robert’s apartment: “I couldn’t handle all the pressure anymore! I love all of y’all.”

Then he shot himself in the head with a .22-caliber pistol. He was alive when they took him to the Leesburg Regional Medical Center emergency room. Richard lived one more day and died July 1. An autopsy revealed no alcohol or drugs.

At services in a Leesburg funeral home, dozens remembered the former star baseball player, known for his quick, mischievous smile. Friends and family still remember Richard in much the same way that the Army does in its report on his suicide. Under the heading “General Personality and Lifestyle,” it states: “He was noted to be intelligent, self-assured, happy-go-lucky and goal oriented.”

Richard was buried in Mount Zion Cemetery in Dade City with military honors.

One of the many mourners at the funeral was a thin, good-looking 18-year-old whose straight dark hair hid a long scar on his scalp

Jamie …

Jamie Fell hadn’t been out of the hospital long when Richard committed suicide. Fell was recovering from a near-fatal pickup accident in which he was thrown 80 feet and landed on his head. He was in intensive care for three weeks.

Richard had been there for Jamie during his recovery, taking weekend leaves from the Army to sit with him in the hospital. During the year or so before the accident, Robert, Richard and Jamie did everything together.

“Robert and Richard adopted Jamie as a younger brother,” said Jamie’s mother, Carolyn Harris. “There was a very, very close bond there, almost to the point that my older son felt left out.”

Harris said there were two Jamie Fells, the one before the accident and the one after.

“He suffered a severe head injury, and when he got out he still had an equilibrium problem,” she said. “He developed a drinking problem, and there was a coldness that came over him.”

He apparently was in pain but didn’t talk about that.

“He told me about this battle between the old person and the new person.” she said. “He said, ‘My life ended on the highway. This is all gravy.’ “

Jamie’s mental health continued to deteriorate, his mother said, and the suicide of his best friend compounded the pain. After the death, he put together an album of photos of Richard.

Jamie began dating Latonya Stone, the youngest of the Stone siblings and the closest in age to Richard.

“I was going through a really hard time, and he was going through a hard time. But he helped me so much,” Latonya said. “I couldn’t believe he did it. He did it because Richard did it.”

On June 28, 1987, two days short of a year after Richard shot himself, Jamie killed himself with a .35-caliber rifle in his bedroom. He had been drinking. It was about 9 p.m.

He left a note saying he loved his mother, sister and brother and Robert Stone. The name Robert Stone was underlined.

On the day of Jamie’s funeral, Robert found a note on his washing machine that stated, “Robert, you are my brother. I love you, Jamie.”

Robert …

The suicides of his brother and his close friend pushed Robert Wayne Stone, the middle Stone brother, over that edge he had walked most of his adult life.

When Richard killed himself, Robert directed his anger toward the Army. Shortly after the death Robert was stopped for speeding and held on gun charges on his way to Fort Bragg. He had put on Richard’s Army fatigues, grabbed a sawed-off shotgun and jumped into the car with Bobby Junior to take care of whoever might be responsible for Richard’s suicide. Charges were dropped.

After Richard’s funeral, Robert tossed the pistol his brother had used to kill himself into a lake, said Bob Fell, Jamie’s brother.

He talked about suicide at the time. But then he seemed to get over it. He continued with his plans and got married later that year to Dena Ann Schumann, a 17-year-old Leesburg girl he had been dating since she was 15. Dena and Robert had a son.

After Richard died, Robert had seemed to transfer all of his brotherly devotion to Jamie.

Jamie, in a sense, became Richard, said Jamie’s mother, Carolyn Harris. Jamie and Richard had similar personalities and tended to keep feelings inside, she said, a foil to Robert’s outgoing and sometimes aggressive manner.

When Jamie killed himself, Robert came to the scene and nearly had to be restrained by police. He screamed, banged the walls, and yelled, “No, no.”

“The most pained person other than myself was Robert,” Harris said.

Not long after Jamie’s death, Dena and Robert moved into a house with Jamie’s mother, brother and half-sister.

“I fell in love with Robert when I met him, even with the rough edges,” Harris said. “I felt he had a lot of love to give.”

Even before Richard’s death, Robert was a drinker. He liked to play pool, drink beer and party with friends. But the drinking turned nasty after Jamie’s death. He piled up driving-under-the-influence-of-alcohol charges. He began fighting with his wife. One time he came to Harris with tears streaming down his face, and said, ” ‘I’m just an alcoholic, and I’m going to lose my wife and kid.’ “

Jamie’s brother, Bob, said, “When he was drunk and wild-eyed, even his best friends didn’t cross him.”

The couple sometimes lived without heat or with the phone cut off. After a while, Dena said, she never even saw Robert’s paycheck and didn’t know what he did with the money.

Robert and Dena divorced after about a year but continued to see each other off and on.

“We had problems mostly due to alcohol,” said Dena Stone, now 19. “I tried to get him help, but he always said that nobody could help him.”

On the night of March 23, 1988, Robert stopped by his sister’s house in Fruitland Park. He put his arms around Patty Bowen and said, ” ‘I love you, Sissy.’ “

“I thought he was going to raise hell with the in-laws,” she said. “But I didn’t know he was going to do what he did.”

Using a borrowed shotgun and pistol, Robert stormed into Dena’s parents house and held the frightened family at gunpoint. Dena talked Robert into going for a ride to Patty’s house nearby. One minute Robert was calm; the next he was out of control, Dena said. She grabbed her boy and ran inside, urging Patty to lock the door.

“He’s got guns,” Dena said.

Robert banged on the door and screamed to be let in. Patty yelled at her out-of-control brother: “You’re scaring the hell out of me, and we got our kids in here.”

The police sirens drew nearer.

“I heard a shot,” she said. “That night was really a nightmare to have to listen to my brother blow his head off.”

Robert was blind drunk when he killed himself. His blood-alcohol level was .29 percent. That was almost three times the legal definition of intoxication in Florida of .10 percent.

But some have no doubt that it was a planned suicide. Earlier that night Robert called his boss at the company where he worked as a telephone-cable splicer. He asked about his last check and then said, “I’m going to meet my brother.”

His sister is sure now that he wasn’t talking about Bobby Junior.

Bobby Junior …

Bobby Junior was the oldest by several years, and his relationship with his two brothers was fatherly as well as brotherly. He coached them in baseball and watched after them when their parents weren’t around.

But Bobby Junior had a life apart from his brothers. While Richard, Jamie and Robert were getting close, he moved out of state.

After graduating from Leesburg High School in 1977, he worked at the Minute Maid plant where his parents worked. Then his father found him summer work in Michigan. He married while in Michigan and lived there and in Texas before separating from his wife several years later.

He joined the Navy in 1985 and missed his youngest brother’s funeral because he was on a ship in the Mediterranean. He went absent without leave several months later and returned to the Leesburg area, settling in Fruitland Park.

Richard’s death shook Bobby Junior, as did his inability to be there, his sister Patty said. He served time in the brig for being AWOL. But before formal discharge papers could be signed he took off again without permission. Family members said the Navy was looking for him until his suicide.

Of the three brothers, Bobby Junior was the smart one. He was the only one to graduate from high school, although the other two passed their high school equivalency tests. He did well with computers and was a programmer in the Navy.

Although he had problems in his marriage and with the Navy, friends and family members figured Bobby Junior would have been the last person to kill himself.

“He always seemed so stuck on himself,” said Dena, Robert’s ex-wife. “I thought he liked himself too much to kill himself.”

Chastain, the Stones’ boyhood friend, said, “Some people didn’t like him because they thought he was cocky. But that is what I liked about him. When I was down I’d look at him and say, ‘Look how good he feels about himself. Maybe I can too.’ “

But like Robert, Bobby Junior began turning more and more to alcohol. On May 21, 1988, less than two months after he stood at the graves of his younger brothers, Bobby Junior shot himself in the head at his girlfriend’s house after an argument with her. His blood-alcohol content was .16 percent, an autopsy revealed.

His mother drove by that night to visit her son and saw the police cars.

“What happened?” she asked. She began running to the house.

“You don’t want to know,” an officer said.

She ran screaming out of control.

Unable to calm her, police handcuffed her and manacled her feet.

They buried Bobby Junior with his wallet, which held a telegram he had received while on the Navy ship in the Mediterranean. It stated: “Richard Stone shot himself. He is dead.”

Survivors . . .

Patty Bowen and other family members are left pained with questions. Explanations don’t come easy.

“It was a chain reaction that started with Richard,” she said. “That’s the only way I can explain it. I couldn’t say that if Richard hadn’t done it the others wouldn’t either. But people have problems and don’t kill themselves. If everybody killed themselves when they had a problem there wouldn’t be many people left in this world.”

Bowen, 28, has undergone therapy for a year now to help cope with the losses.

Bob Fell, Jamie’s older brother, points out many reasons contributing to the suicides, including mounting personal problems.

“It was an accumulation of everything,” said Fell, 22. “Me and my brother come from a broken homes, and the Stones did too. It seems like today there is more of a pressure to be the best of everything: to have the best truck, the best clothes.

“If you ain’t driving the fastest car and wearing the most gold around your neck, you just ain’t it,” he said.

Working-class children in small-town Leesburg have a tough time making it like the young folks they see on movies and television, Fell said.

“I admire the guy who can work his life away just to keep food on the table,” he said.”I just can’t do that. I get too bored.”

Bob, who like Richard served a hitch in the Army, said he thinks about the Stones and his brother and suicide every day. “Sometimes two or three times a day,” he said. “And it scares the hell out of me.”

After the last suicide David Chastain said he became seriously depressed and started drinking heavily. He finally packed his bags and moved to Tennessee for a four-month sabbatical to think things out. He has come back, though, to Colonial Street.

“There’s no way to explain it, even if you want to,” he said. “Now, after it’s happened and me being so close, I still can’t put it in words how I feel. I felt selfish in a way, hurt because I didn’t have no friends to talk to. I can’t turn and talk to that special person, because they’re gone.”

The Stones’ father, Bobby, lives in Dade City. He didn’t have much to say about his sons’ deaths.

“I had three sons, and now they are gone.”

His brother Earl said Bobby can’t talk about it. “He’s had a hard time with it.”

Latonya Wellman, 22, lives in Jacksonville, N.C. She is going through her second divorce and said she soon will return to Florida. She underwent therapy for a while but quit because she didn’t think it was helping.

“I used to think about committing suicide, but why should I do that? I enjoy life too much.”

Latonya tries to put the deaths of her brothers out of her mind but sometimes they haunt her sleep.

“My brothers were all there in my dreams. They were dead, but they were talking to me,” she said. “I felt so sorry for them. Richard put his hand on my face and said, ‘I didn’t mean to hurt you.’ “

JoAnn Cord lives in Marion County. She has

three photo albums, one for each son. The photos show mostly good times from school, in baseball uniforms, playing in the country at grandma’s, arm wrestling at the kitchen table, Richard and Robert riding a dirt bike on Colonial Street. She can take you through those albums, telling stories about each snapshot, laughing at a memory – like the time Bobby Junior washed the neighbor’s car but left the windows open.

But within each album she keeps sobering reminders that memories are all she has. Sealed carefully in plastic are three obituaries.

Dena Stone, Robert’s ex-wife, said she wishes only that she could have snapped the string of suicides by persuading Robert to get help.

She lives in Gainesville and is trying to support herself and her son.

“I’m trying to forget, but it’s not working because I was in love with that man.”

She is worried about her 2-year-old son. Dena said there is no doubt the toddler remembers his father and the terror-filled night he went away. It seems recently that the little boy has begun to take after his daddy in one respect.

Robert Stone Jr. wakes up often with nightmares, screaming.

Montgomery rapper loves his mom

This kid from Montgomery contacted me on Twitter and directed me to a video of a song.

It’s about his mother and single mothers everywhere. (‘Single Mamas’)

I am a 60-year-old white man who loves music but this style urban contemporary hip hop is not one I listen to much. Sounds like it has radio potential.

I know there’s a thousand mix tapes and CD’s being pushed at streetcorners and online from folks who think they got something. Maybe they do. I think Rich Boi Streeter feat. the Younginz’ has something. Spread this around if you like it.

As always check out my music blog at www.myvinylcountdown.com

Big John Patton — 268, 267

Album: Blue John (Recorded 1963, released 1986)

MVC Rating: 4.5/$$$$

If you are introducing someone to good jazz, Blue John is a good place to start. Because it is so much fun. What do you expect from an album that starts off with “Hot Sauce.”

This record has an odd history. It was recorded in 1963 but didn’t see its release until 1986 on Blue Note.

Allmusic.com says this: “There may be something of a novelty element to (George) Braith‘s (saxophone) playing, but bluesy, groove-centered soul-jazz rarely sounds this bright and exuberant, which is reason enough not to dismiss his contributions.”

In addition to Braith’s funky sax sounds, Grant Green’s guitar throughout is tasty. Many people get introduced to good jazz with ‘Kinda Blue’ by Miles Davis or John Coltrane’s “Giant Steps” or “My Favorite Things.” Great albums and must haves for a jazz collection. But Blue John by Big John Patton is an instant like with its laid back tempo and bluesy swing.

Links to Wikipedia bios of these musicians below.

John Patton – organ

Tommy Turrentine – trumpet (5, 6)

George Braith – soprano saxophonestritch

Grant Green – guitar

Ben Dixon – drums

Best covers of ‘Knocking on Heaven’s Door’ (blog version)

My longtime position has been don’t do a cover song unless you can bring something to it. Another arrangement, strikingly different vocals, speeded or slowed down.

[See AL.com version of this story by clicking here. ]

An example of a bad cover is Michael Bolton’s cover of Otis Redding’s “Sitting on the Dock of the Bay.’

Redding’s was already one of rock and soul’s top songs ever. Bolton, he of big American Idol-like voice, did nothing but drain the soul out of the song. He sold millions naturally.

Brian Ferry’s cover of John Lennon’s ‘Jealous Guy’ is a way of correctly doing a cover. His lilting beautiful voice was a artful cocktail whereas Lennon’s was a shot of whiskey. Ferry’s version was the second stage of a relationship hurting as defined by Lennon’s version.

Perhaps my bar for a good cover is too high but there are some songs that do covers well. Or, make for more cover possibilities. Bob Dylan’s ‘Knocking on Heaven’s Door’ is one of those songs. Beautiful simple melody, simple sparse words about the universal experience of aging and dying. Dylan songs make good covers because they are good songs in search of a good singer. My Back Pages covered by the Byrds and Blowing in the Wind by Peter Paul and Mary are examples.

I made two Top 10 lists because I found myself listening to these in different ways.

My first list is my sentimental list – probably the list I would choose first. These covers can move me to tears or sadness or joy.

My second list is my cerebral list. These are how I would rank them if I were a rational human listening to the musicianship and songwriting craft and trying grade it with my head not my heart. Obviously there are overlaps.

Cerebral Top 10

Pete Carr – Carr is a session musician who has ties to the Muscle Shoals studios. I had never heard of the guy or his cover until someone at the record convention I attended earlier this year said I had to hear it. I had just finished talking about Danny and Dusty’s version. Carr is a sentimental choice (At No. 4) due to his Alabama connection but is my top cerebral pick (I’m sure surprising lot of folks). Just listen to that guitar! It made me shout Freebird by the end – but that was a psychotic break from reality. No, the extended guitar jam is as good as it gets. Carr has recorded extensively at FAME Recording Studio in Muscle Shoals and Muscle Shoals Sound Studio in Sheffield, according to Wikipedia.

Guns and Roses. For sure power, this is the rock hardest or hardest rock cover. You have to be open to lead singer’s Axl Rose’s oddly unsettling multi-octave voice. I am a fan. When he sings: Hey hey hey hey uh hey, I’m there. (Or is it Aye Aye Aye Aye Ayeeeeei-i-i-i-i.)

Eric Clapton – Puts a little impeccable reggae into his version. This is what I mean about mixing it up to make your own.

Bob Dylan — Well the source is Dylan and he does a good job. You have to be open to his voice which is not ordinary sounding to say the least. However this is one of his best vocal performances.

Tracy Chapman Underrated artist does an understated version that touches the soul.

Roger Waters Pink Floyd singer surprises us with a very un-derstated version.

Bryan Ferry The Roxy Music frontman has a knack for great cover songs, the aforementioned ‘Jealous Guy,’ “Like a Hurricane,’ and ‘You Won’t  See Me’ to name just a few.

Ladysmith Black Mambazo – She belts it out, giving it a punch rivaling GN’R.

Warren Zevon – This is poignant in that it was recorded right before he died.

Danny and Dusty – Just loose, good fun, barroom singalong.

Sentimental Top 10

  1. Bob Dylan
  2. Warren Zevon — Open up! Open up!
  3. Tracy Chapman
  4. Pete Carr
  5. Guns and Roses
  6. Bryan Ferry
  7. Danny and Dusty
  8. Roger Waters
  9. Eric Clapton –
  10. Freddie Fender,

Other covers worth noting:Television, the Alarm, Avril Lavigne, John Cale.

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John Mellencamp — 322, 321

ALBUMS: Uh huh! (1983); Scarecrow (1985)

MVC Rating: Uh huh: 4.5/$$; Scarecrow 4.5/$$

I know John Mellencamp. Even Johnny Cougar.

He’s a guy from Indiana. Small town Indiana. I lived in Indiana in 7th, 8th, and 9th grades in the early to mid-1970s. That age, 12-15, is arguably one of the pivotal periods in one’s life.

In Indiana, everyone was Jack and Diane.

We were in West Lafayette. My family lived in an area where I was not zoned for the West Lafayette schools, the ‘city’ schools with professors’ kids in the shadow of Purdue University where my father worked.

I took a bus to a more rural school, farmers’ kids, families in trailer parks, where 13-year-olds smoked cigarettes in the laundromat at the Service Center, inside, playing pinball.

If you knew how to trick the machine into giving you countless extra games you play on a quarter for hours. Or some of us were just that good to hold a machine without tricks.

“Hey ‘rook’ go get me a pack of smokes,” Owens snapped at me as I walked by. Rook meant I was a 7th grader at Klondike Junior High School. Owens was a bully in 8th grade. He and his crew terrorized us through that rookie year.

Owens handed me a dollar and told me to hurry.

“But will they sell me cigarettes?” I asked.

Owens, dirty blond hair touching his shoulders dressed in an Army jacket, laughed and said ‘Rook go get ’em.’ I made the purchase successfully, brought them back with a quarter in change. Owens said ‘You’re all right. Maybe I won’t beat your ass so much.”

I could go on and on with stories from Indiana. And it’s weird because there wasn’t much to do there. Corn fields. In the hot summers some of us would get paid piece work de-tasseling corn. In the fall, especially on Halloween, we’d go into the cornfields and pick up the hard corn kernels and put them in bags. We’d lie in wait in the darkness until headlights approached from a distance. Scooping a handful of hard kernels, you had to time it just perfectly letting loose at the front grill of the car as it passed by. It sounded like your engine just fell apart, clankety clankety, as the kernels bounced around in the radiator fan or other moving belts and such. Harmless we told ourselves but then there was the chase.

It’s an Indiana past-time: Corning cars. At least where I was hanging. One of my buddies said he’d been shot at doing this before. Great, another added touch of cornfed bravado.

But the thrill of corning was not in the actual corning but the chase after the driver pulled over. That’s because most folks were from around there and instantly knew they’d been corned.Sometimes the cars would drive right into the cornfield. We were sprinting through the rows, laughing. Crazy Indiana kids.

I’d love to ask Mellencamp of Seymour, Indiana, if he ever corned a car.

Mellencamp has put together quite a career. I have two of more than a dozen albums he has released. Possibly two of his best and most impactul:

Uh huh! and Scarecrow. I saw him in Birmingham, I believe in 1982, and thought he was fantastic. One of my all time favorite concerts actually. The drums! Kenny Aronoff.

I haven’t listened to these records in years and I thought they may sound dated, but they hold up. Mellencamp is a good if not great songwriter. Straightforward, his words mean what they say. Even when he uses symbolism, it is in-you-face: Rain on the scarecrow, blood on the plow.

The crops we grew last summer weren’t enough to pay the loans 
Couldn’t buy the seed to plant this spring and the farmers bank foreclosed 
Called my old friend Schepman up to auction off the land 

He said john it’s just my job and I hope you understand 
Hey calling it your job ol hoss sure don/t make it right 

But if you want me to, I’ll say a prayer for your soul tonight

‘ol hoss.’ Yep that line sounds like exactly how someone from Indiana would say it.

He astutely captures the cycle of rural Indiana laugh in ‘Small Town:

Well I was born in a small town
And I can breathe in a small town
Gonna die in this small town
And that’s probably where they’ll bury me

And Jack and DIane’s anthemic, drum-slapping chorus:

Let it rock. Let it roll. Let the Bible belt come and save your soul. Hold on to 16 as long as you can. Changes coming real soon make us women and men.

Don’t know if this would be surprising but the big town Lafayette — the twin town of West Lafayette was home town of Axl Rose, lead singer for Guns N Roses. I knew many Axl Roses as well. sIt’s only two hours from Seymour to West Lafayette/Lafayette, straight through Indianapolis.

The News Today

I read the news today, oh boy

Who  is dead. Who is not. They train for this.

Active shooter drill. Lock the doors.

The door locks from the outside only.

Put a door stop in it.

The door swings  out.

The shooter  is coming. The shooter is active.

Right up the hall.

Silent prayer.

Silenter and silenter.

Where are the doors?

Just thinking during silent prayer.

Hey did you hear the one about arming the teachers in Alabama?

Just thinking during silent prayer.

Silenter and silenter.

Preschool teachers thinking about the best way to shield their students 2, 3,  and 4-year-olds.  With their bodies.

We’re going to be playing a little game let’s see how many can get in the bathroom.

Real drill in Birmingham, Alabama.

High school students thinking about that troubled guy. Is that a trench coat?  Is this guy  going to shoot me? Is that  guy going to shoot me?

High school kids making a last will and testament.

Bullet holes in stained glass.

Hey isn’t that how the light gets in?

Bullet holes in classroom windows.

Isn’t that where the light streams in?  Where the bullets get out?

Rejection to that connection. No more bullets, no more bullet holes.

You know,  I read the news today.

Oh boy.

How many holes in the dead, in the living.

We must count them.

We must count them all.

Danny and Dusty — 545

ALBUM:  The Lost Weekend (1985)

MVC Rating: 4.0/$$$

I’m in the D’s. Time to get down  and dirty.

So apopros that my alphabetical system provokes me to take a look at Danny and Dusty.

This all-star band, well, maybe minor league all- star, has some gut-barrel, singalong barroom music on  it. ‘D’ for drunk, maybe?

This is a buddy group with Dan Stuart from the band Green On Red and Steve (Dusty) from Dream Syndicate. Members of those bands and the Long Ryders were the backing band.

I have some Green on Red somewhere, maybe disc, and this is reminding me of some great  songs they did in the 1980s ‘post-psychedelic movement’ in the SF Bay Area. (To be honest, Green on Red  sounded more country punk to me.) One song, I can’t recall it’s name, had a line it about ‘working at the Piggly Wiggly’ — it always made me laugh. I’ll try to find the song and post.

Now I live a block away from a Piggly Wiggly. But I also lived in the Bay Area for a decade and don’t remember ever seeing a Pig there?

Anyway, D&D is a fun listen, probably recorded most songs in 1 or 2 takes.  The Dylan cover of ‘Knocking on Heaven’s Door’ is a different take, and not bad. (Still my favorite cover of that song is  probably Guns N’ Roses version, though I never was huge GNR fan—I felt like I was too old to enjoy them. Odd, b/c I like  some Chili Peppers).

Counting down my 678 vinyl records before I die of brain disease.